I truly hate myself for some things.
And i didn't feel so horrid until my parents got back.

I thought it'd be nice to see them again, but its not that great.
I think they forgot that i exist. They didn't say hi to me.
They just ignored me.

& i tried talking to them aft that.
Mom came up with some shit about not buying me & carolyn kipling bags
because she thought we didn't like them. WHAT THE FUCK?
But she bought for Joanne and Sam while they were there.
Jo told her we didn't like kipling.
SCREW HER.

Then she bought some idk what kind of weird stuff.
Then let me choose.
So I was polite enough to just take something.
Then i felt really upset and horrid and all just because they were back now, and i felt like i was being ostracized of something, so i started walking away.
Then mom called me to take the stuff.
Then i said "another day"
THEN SHE GOT ALL PISSED WITH ME
SAYING THAT I WAS RUDE AND ALL
I really hate her now.
I hate all of them now.


I HOPE MY DAD TAKES AWAY MY PHONE
AND MY LAPTOP
AND THEN I CAN COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO STOP ME.

I've never been so fucking depressed in my life.

It's just one bloody night.

I don't think my bestfriends even come across this...
hmm....

Okay, maybe i won't commit suicide.
But still, the feelings inside of me suck.

I just want to talk to matt ):
I think i pissed him off.
And i feel really mean.
But i was so pissed that i couldn't explain everything yesterday.
And i'm not gonna call today or else his grandma or mom will know.
Then they will be wondering why i keep calling him.
Then it will lessen the chances of him getting his phone back.

I don't even know if we are on speaking terms.
But considering last night, probably not that good.
I don't think i'm going for penetential service tomorrow...
I WANT TO GO SO BADLY ):


fuck all of this.
I'm in such a bad mood that i'm swearing.
I don't really care that homework's not done.
I have a test this wednesday.
I hate it.
Why do we have soo many test on wednesday.
Chem, Amath, Bio.

I don't want to swear anymore.
I don't want to be like this anymore.

):

Sorry everybody.

I hate myself now.
GAH! ):