(from fuckyeahhlove.tumblr.com)

Here is my ‘happily ever after’ that lasted for one whole day, a memory that I will never forget for as long as I live.

You and I were always together, and in such a short amount of time we managed to get to know each other and from the moment that I met you, I knew that I liked you .. and soon enough .. I fell for you.

I started to enjoy the moment we spend together, I started to love everything about you.

So .. I wanted to confess my feelings for you, so I gathered all my courage and told you how I felt with the help of our daily phone calls. And you were silent .. My heart sank. I knew what was coming next .. the “I’m not ready for a relationship, I just want to be friends with you because I value our friendship” .. in other words .. “No thanks!”

You just kept silent, and then I heard it ..

You: “I’m sorry .. ”

And I braced myself .. I was ready for kick in the butt for being such a dummy !

You: “I don’t think I can be with you .. “

Me: “Why .. ? ”

You: “Because .. I know we wont last .. ”

That was the moment that I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces .. we haven’t even given this relationship a chance, and I was already shot down. I could feel my throat clamming up, my mouth was dry, and I just wanted to hang up and go to sleep and hope it was all a bad dream .. but I didn’t .. Me and my stubbornness. So I asked ..

Me: “Why do you think that .. ? We haven’t even tried yet .. “

You: “Its not that .. I mean .. I feel the exact same way as you, I haven’t never met a girl who I get along with so well, who isn’t afraid to be herself, and doesn’t let other’s opinion get in the way of what she wants, who is a weak drinker, and loud, and obnoxious, and crazy and hyper and is a crybaby.”

I was shocked, I didn’t know what to say next .. but before I knew it .. I was blushing and smiling like an idiot.

Me: “Then .. why cant we be together .. ? We feel the same way about each other don’t we .. ? Cant we give it a shot .. ?”

You: “No.”

Me: “What .. ? Why .. ? “

You: “Because you live in Australia, and I live here in Vietnam.”

Me: “Well that is a stupid excuse .. we already said we were going to live in Japan .. wasn’t that our dream .. ?”

You: “Yes .. but I have my reasons to why I cant be with you .. ”

Me: “Is it because I’m not pretty .. ? And I’m not skinny, and stupid and insecure and annoying .. ? That’s the reason isn’t it .. ?”

You: “No.”

Me: “Then what is it .. ? ”

You: “Tomorrow, meet me at the usual place that we meet, and I will tell you then”

And just like that you hung up, I sat in bed thinking what wrong with me .. ? What did I do .. ? Or didn’t do .. ? To deserve something like this .. ? I just wanted us to be like every other couple, and continue what we were doing. I really thought I found the one guy who I finally deserved.

I fell asleep and woke up the next morning, got changed and went to the pond where you and I meet up before we agree on where to go that day. As I waited I sat down and was trying to think of ways to shield myself and not let you see how much pain I am in .. Then I saw you walking towards me in your ripped jeans and your white t-shirt and when I saw your charming smile, I couldn’t help but melt, and I didn’t care anymore.

Me: “So what’s happening today .. ?”

You: “Well, we are going to go eat lunch, and then were going to a theme park, and then were going to visit my house and then a very special place”

I didn’t care where we were going, as long as it was with you then I was the happiest girl in the world. I didn’t care about the fact that I cant be your lover, but if I can be your friend then that is more than enough for me. If I could keep on seeing your smile .. then I was satisfied.

That day was absolutely amazing, we took heaps of photos as memories, and because of the haunted house that I was able to hold your hand and you laughed at me for being such a scardy cat. Then I met your parents, and family .. and they told me that this was the first time that you have ever brought a girl home, and I smiled until my cheeks hurt, I felt so privileged to be the first girl you ever brought home. But there was something different, the atmosphere of the family wasn’t normal the normal ‘cheerful and awkward’ feeling. There was a hint of sadness in the air.

You: “Its time to go to my special place .. “

Me: “What special place .. ? Is this were your going to tell me why we cant be together .. ?”

You: “…”

Me: “Then I don’t want to go .. I don’t want to end this perfect day with such tragic end .. I want a happy ending for once ..”

You: “Just come with me .. and tonight at 12 I will call you and tell you then, so I wouldn’t ruin your day .. and you still get your happy ending ok princess .. ?”

You took me to your special place, a place where only you and I know about it. You held me tight and we sat there staring at the open fields. Not one word was spoken .. we just sat there in silent, and then you tapped me on my shoulder. When I turned around your lips met mine, and that was the very first kiss that you and I shared together ..

For the whole 2 hours that we were alone, not one word was spoken, but I knew with that kiss that you said ..

“I love you”

I was in heaven, and then you drove me home and I fell asleep and you took pictures of me sleeping and drew whiskers on my face. I woke up due to you laughing so loud. Then I looked in the mirror and laughed too.

Then I was home, I wish the trip didn’t have to end, I wanted to be with you a little longer ..

You: “Before you go to sleep, check in your right back pocket, I left you something ..”

Me: “Ok then .. well, goodnight!”

And I gave you a kiss goodbye. And quickly ran upstairs and got changed, and fell asleep, I woke up at 3 in the morning remembering about the present, so I went to my right back pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. I read it and tears started to blur my vision, my head spun around in circles and I couldn’t breathe .. I felt like I was going to die, I finally understood why we couldn’t be together, I didn’t know what to do .. All I can do is cry.

Letter:

‘I hope by the time you read this letter, it would be pass midnight. I really enjoyed today with you. It was the best day of my life and now, I’m going to tell you why you and I can’t be together. Its not you babe, its me .. (cliché !! I know .. but just keep reading. Hehe .. ) its not that I don’t want to be with you, its just that I simply cannot be with you.

Last month, I was been diagnosed with throat cancer and the doctor give me the time of 2-3 years left. That’s why we cannot be together .. I don’t want to see you get hurt because of me .. I don’t want to be the reason to why you cry yourself to sleep at night .. to why you don’t eat or drink for days on end .. and I don’t want to put you through all that pain.

So please, I beg of you, don’t pursue this anymore, just leave it and continue being good friends like we were before. I want the last few years of my life to be fun and memorable so when I die .. I can die with a smile on my face. That is my dying wish ..

So when you see me tomorrow, smile that cheerful and adorable smile of yours, and don’t be sad, because when your sad it breaks my heart. I will try my best to help you, and guide you through life when I am up in heaven. But .. I want you to know that I really do love you. I have never loved any girl as much as I love you. Your beautiful just the way you are, please don’t ever change. I’m sorry you couldn’t be the first girl that I fell in love with .. but I can promise you that you will be the last girl that I will ever love. I love you so much princess.’

I love you .. so much. I love everything about you ..

I love it when I wait for you before class starts and you greet me with your charming smile.

I love it when you text me when class finishes, wondering if i got home safely.

I love it when you reply to my text when you might be working, drinking with friends, driving, busy, or with family.

I love it when we go out to watch a movie, or eat or just walk at the park, you would open up to me and we would talk about our worries, our troubles, our life, and about absolutely anything and everything.

I love it when you call me at 3 in the morning, even though your tired from work, you needed someone to talk to and I was glad that I was your first choice. And we would talk for ours and end up sleeping on the phone till our credits run out.

I love it when you wait for me to get into the vehicle because you wanted to make sure I wasn’t left there alone, and that nothing would happen to me. And .. I fell in love with you.

But .. I will respect your wish .. so ..

Thank you for letting me be selfish, and putting up with me .. but most of all .. thank you for letting me have my happy ending.

by cookiesnscream

Labels: tumblr