I can't blog properly because i know that there are people stalking my blog and there are people who don't bother to tag. THAT IS MEAN.
IF YOU COME AND READ IT YOU SHOULD TAG.
ARGH ):
tumblr is so much safer.
Why does my dad have to follow me on twitter?
I'm gonna start unfriending people on facebook.
JUST BECAUSE I KNOW YOU DOES NOT MAKE US FRIENDS, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW.
eff, i'm in such a bad mood now!
Can't wait till i learn how to swear in cantonese. Muahahaha!

Can't wait till the 17th when i get back from UK and KorKor is around.
Can't wait, can't wait, can't wait.

I hate feeling so shitty ):
I hate having to study soo hard during the first week of hols):
I hate having to meet everybody's expectations ):
I hate being lectured about not having good attitude):
I hate being me.

YOU KNOW WHAT,
daddy lectured me this morning again.
It was the usual; you're not studying hard enough, you're doing lousy, you'll have no future, you're gonna flunk your o levels, you're gonna go to a shit school. OH WAIT. I CANT GO TO A SHIT SCHOOL. BECAUSE IF I DON'T GET 6 POINTS FOR MY FCKING O LEVELS, I WONT EVEN BE STUDYING ANYMORE. I'LL HAVE TO DROP OUT BECAUSE MY DAD SAYS THAT ITS A WASTE OF A MONEY. ANYONE WHO GOES TO POLY MUST BE THAT STUPID, RIGHT? Fck la. Poly doesn't even suck that bad.

And if i tell anyone that, they'll be like "no la, your parents aren't serious, they just want you to do well." THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE SAYS THAT I'M GONNA SAY "SHUT THE FCK UP". IF YOU DON'T KNOW MY PARENTS, DON'T MAKE THESE KIND OF COMMENTS.

Chloe understands what it's like.
But she's still able to dsa.
I can't.

Because, i'm in a STUPID FCK CCA which probably doesn't exist in JC. (if i even go there) So damn, because all i can do is save the man on the street who has a sudden heart attack and save people with fractures and sprains and save people who've fainted.
NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE, -especially to the ncos since some of them read this- BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT TO SAVE ANYONE'S LIFE. It's not being selfish okay. I just don't.
I don't like blood. It's not disgusting or gruesome or make me want to puke. I'm fine with it. I just don't want to save someone else because i'm just NOT THAT KIND.
Or maybe i am but i'm too angry now so i shall just say that i'm not.
HMPH.


OH FCK MY ECZEMA GOT WORST AND MY SCARS ARE GETTING INFLAMED.
FCK FCK FCK.
YES, I GET ECZEMA WHEN I'M STRESSED.
I. AM. STRESSED.
oh yes, and for everyone out there who thinks your life is worse, DONT BOTHER COMPARING.
I don't care if your life is really worse than mine because i'm finding it so hard to get through each day just thinking about the fact that i may not even be able to go to JC after Os. Or poly for that matter. Your life could really be worse but i don't care. Mine's as bad as it is already.

You know what else i do when i'm stressed?
(Only highlight the following paragraph if you're very very sure it will not disgust you. If you spread rumours about this, i will find out.)
Sometimes i slash. But not really anymore. It really isn't that bad. I have a secret weapon and it's not a knife because the knife is painful and i didn't even try that before. Ha. ha. ha.
And sometimes when i'm stressed, i pretend to be someone i'm not. I go crazy. I act psychotic. I talk to imaginary people, then i scream and shout and throw things all over the place. The last time this happened, my room was covered in paper ALL OVER, it looked like it was snowing. I talk to myself. I laugh the way a crazy person would. I think about death out loud and sometimes its hilarious watching people around me freak out. I start to shake violently and i end up having spasms on the floor. Or, i'd just sit on the rooftop in my pajamas and cry and cry and cry and cry and cry. I sound like i belong in woodbridge. But throughout this whole thing, i'm conscious of what i'm doing. I do it On Purpose. If you're freaked out now, then too bad. I warned you that it'd be weird and freaky. So now you know. But i only act psychotic when i'm very stressed. It helps, you know...

Okay, i feel better after blogging.
I wish my korkor was here.
Then i could talk to him and it'd be easier for me to get over all this shit.

Sometimes i just wish i could die.
It's so hard.
But we just gotta keep trying.

And trying.




And trying.