im like totally confused.
i don't know which part of me being a friend of someone do i always fail at.
ALWAYS.
gosh ):

its like terrible.
and i cant blame anyone but myself.

its like, im there, i laugh.
next second, my mind drifts off.
next second, i feel like im faking it all again.
next second, i don't think i belong.

its all so contradictory??
i don't know.
i feel so...left out?

i feel as if ive been a bad friend or something.
i don't know.

constant internal struggle to help yourself out, to be yourself, and to believe that it'll be okay.
i can't forget all the judgemental statements i've heard before. it was mean, and i frankly didn't like it.
i keep telling myself: Just be yourself, and f(iretr)uck the world.
but then i think about it, and i remember, it really isn't all that easy sometimes.

you just gotta keep trying.
maybe there'll be a firework..