i'm turning into a paranoid little bitch again ):
AND I HAVE TO DO MY HOMEWORK.
I'm so upset right now, and i don't want to do last minute homework, ugh :S

Also, i cannot get caught up with myself falling head-over-heels for somebody.
Utterly insane, i will not let it happen.
I absolutely negatively mustn't.

On a much more awkward and absolutely maddening note; i watched the valentines' day episode of glee. I am now dreading this traumatically over-celebrated holiday with terrifying intrepidation. Somebody save me!

I used to love valentines' day, especially because i would buy little sweets, chocolates, or write letters for my close friends and celebrate this well-known un-official holiday as friendship day! (:

However, i'm currently 15 years old.
I know that that isn't suppose to mean anything to me, but somehow i feel different this year.
I'm turning 16 in april, and yes, i'm single.
Am i suppose to have a boyfriend, am i suppose to be dating somebody? Obviously, i shouldn't be. And i'm not.

I just have this annoyingly nagging feeling inside of me that keeps eating away at my insides.
It's constantly, and repetitively, sending nerve impulses to my brain, and into my thoughts, saying : you're single, you're single, and valentines' day is coming~

I mean, seriously brain?

Why was valentines' day even set up in the first place?
I believe that if you love someone, you shouldn't only show it to them on valentines' day because it is stipulated as the "day of love". That just sounds absolutely preposterous to me.
Shouldn't you show someone that you love them every single day of your life, rather than suddenly have an outburst on love, just because it is valentines' day?
Or, was it set up, especially to make all the single people feel miserable about themselves because they'd see their friends receiving chocolates, sweets, letters, invites for dates, and people making out, hugging, hand-holding, everywhere they'd go?
I sound like i'm only paranoid because i'm single. I seriously don't know.
Something has changed in me this year, i cannot look at valentines' day the way i used to anymore. Oh deary me...

Then again, i realised that maybe valentines' day isn't meant to make you feel miserable.
It is, in fact however, suppose to give people who are more shy, more introverted, less outspoken, and a little confused about how-to or when-to show love, and output, or reason to show the someone that they've been admiring from a distance what that special someone really means to them.

I guess it makes sense now...

The era of dreaming will soon be over, Nick Carraway, you absolute angel and genius for even coming up with that.

I shall dedicate this post to the person i love most right now(;
And anyway everybody,


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!