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Yesterday was friday. Friday night particularly.
Sunday, March 21, 201012:34 AM
[Edit]
Yeah, so right, i think i shouldn't blog this, but ______ IS GOING OUT WITH HER. & therefore, M is devastated. This makes a real nice math equation...not. (See, out of the niceness of my heart, i shall not name my dear friend, and he shall only be known as M.) Yeah, so i called M, and i told him, cos he's the one who wanted me to ask her for him in the first place. She told me it was true. I didn't know she was that kind of girl, but anyway, she's free to go out with whoever she wants, and really...its none of my business. (: Then M got all devastated on the phone, and he was like saying that his heart was breaking.. MORE LIKE MY HEART BREAKING. fucker ): HE IS SUCH A BLOODY LIAR. Actually no, he's not a liar. Ziwei said he's a flirt. Hahaha. (I'll talk about how Ziwei knows about this later...) How can he lie, that he likes me, when he just said his heart broke all because she went out with someone else. OH YEAH, and this is the worst heart break he's ever been through. PUHLEASE, its his second. -.- I mean, don't all heart breaks hurt? And you know what, i just spent the entire time telling him that it was okay if he wanted to cry because people cry when heart breaks, and i said all this without him knowing how hurt i felt. I HAVE FEELINGS TOO! Somemore, i acted like i was okay, BECAUSE he is my best friend. Oh, and he wanted to commit suicide, i told him not to.... Then he said something about me never failing to make him smile... Well, i hate people not smiling. Ask Dione ma'am (: There's a kind of smile plan going on.. haha :D Oh, and i don't know what you call this, but i call it emotional blackmail. He was like "Jacq, are you free tomorrow?" "Yeah... why?" "Do you want to go out with me to watch a movie?" "Erm..." "So?" "Cannot..." "Why?" "Cos i've got dance comp till 1 plus and my aunt's coming over at 3 plus" "in between you're free right?" "Erm......yeah...." "Then go with me" "But.... i'm gonna do homework tomorrow.." "Jacq, you don't do homework in the day" "BUT, tomorrow i'm doing homework!" "I know you better than that jacq, you don't study in the day, don't lie" "Really....i got homework to do..." *silence* "Jacq," "Yeah?" "Do you like me?" "Erm, maybe" "Don't you?" "Not when you talk about 'Her' so much...but either then that, yeah..." "Then why won't you go out with me?" "Because i can't! I told you already!" "Jacq," "Yeah?" "Do you want me to be alone forever?" "Er..........no?" "Then?" SEE WHAT I MEAN? Emotional blackmail. GAH. Then he told me that this guy whom he met during ncc camp from jurong sec, said that he was like "the whole package" so why didn't girls like him. AND I QUOTE M. "So right, if i'm like the whole package, why don't girls like me" (he said something along those lines...) I was like: whats... Many people get by without knowing that anyone likes them, and they are fine. People are even the slightest bit happy when even one person likes them, even if its the wrong person. For M though, one girl liking him isn't enough. He's getting very ego, and i don't like it at all. I don't know why i keep trying to help him. Kor said that there's something wrong with me :/ I mean, i really care about him because he's my best friend, and I also like him, but why the heck is he being such a jerk? THE JERK PART, was when he told me his heart broke because of Her, and that he still Liked her a lot. I felt like he was playing me. He liked her and he liked me too? Is that even possible? He got so upset just because She started being somebody's girlfriend. (She did say that she wasn't gonna go out with anyone till after Os. lies, lies, lies...) This wasn't like the last time, because the last time, he didn't even know that i liked him, so that didn't count. BUT THIS TIME, he knew i did, and he even told me that he liked me too, so how is it possible he LIKED Her SO MUCH ? i feel so cheated. Kor also said that i have to let go. Like stop letting myself get pulled in and getting hurt. He said that M's a jerk, and a flirt. The first word that came to my mind after that? PLAYER. I keep asking myself why i pretend that i'm not hurt and that i'm fine. Why i care when i shouldn't. Why i keep being there for him, when i know he doesn't deserve any of my love or care. Why do i constantly let myself get hurt. Why? Maybe i do this because i know that he can change, if only i convince him to. Maybe, just maybe. I feel like this is a scene from A Midsummers Night Dream. She is Hermia, and _____ is Lysander. M is Demetrius, and I am Helena. Constanly pursuing Demetrius only to get pushed aside. WAIT A SEC, did i just compare my life to my literature text ? Omygosh, i'm going insane... But you know, the resemblance is clearly there... OH YES, Ziwei knows, because i called M after dance comp when we were on the bus going back to school, so i told Ziwei the story. Sigh.. His mom picked up, because i called the house phone. (His handphone line got cut :S) And well, i think it was a bit weird. Yeah.. Heh. I can't remember much from that night, but I don't think I'm giving up on my best friend anytime soon... [this section has been removed by request]Oh by the way, I think he's still pretty depressed about the whole situation with Her, he think that she only likes smart guys, since Jeter's from sji. Well...no comment, but maybe that's true? & he was so sad at one part, he was like "I'm love deprived" So i tried explaining to him that he wasn't. Then he said that maybe, he would keep having crushes but stay single forever. He kept getting so unrealistic. Ah, i must find a way to talk more sense into him. I'm still his best friend, if not anything else... [/Edit] |
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