I was really emo on friday, and no, i couldn't help it.
The realisation of how badly my results are had finally sunken in, and i was terribly upset with myself. Also, as friday was the first day of extra curriculum, being the 29th of October, i decided that i should probably start paying attention in lessons, because they were starting on the new sec4 syllabus already.

That made me purely fed up.

The amount i absorb during a lesson when i pay attention in comparison to the amount i would absorb during a lesson if i didn't pay attention, is hardly any different.

I was so stressed. And when i'm stressed, i keep really quiet, and let random thoughts continually fill my head. Hevina & Chloe were worried, they called me later on in the day to check that i was "okay". What nice friends i have...

Saturday was slightly better, but i was still stressed.
So i almost broke down, and then Kimberly, Nicole Chin, Grace, Steph, Nikki and Ana tried to cheer me up. Which was very nice of them, but i was kinda mean in a sense because of my being stressed. Kimberly, Nicole Chin and Ana finally succeeded in making me go high after cat, by using m&ms! :>

i will try to be happy again.

[Sidenote: My dad just scolded me for typing out my lit notes on the computer. He says it's more convenient, and faster if i write it out than type it. Then i said that i prefer typing it out, and he was all, "fine, it's your life, i'm just trying to give my opinion and help". Seriously? Why does he always try and guilt trip me. I have enough guilt and pain and sadness, can people stop trying to put me down?]

No one has the right to look down on me, i don't give a care if you're my parents or someone from the first triple science class. You have no right to look down on me. Everybody's different, and i'm imperfect. Just because something works for you, doesn't mean it will work for me. No offence, but i don't really want to be a conformist. It's being different that makes you special. I will now quote Paul Dunne : Normal = Nothing
Take that!

(Ps. i feel better now)
:>