you can just say that you don't want to talk to me.
it's much nicer than putting false hope in me.
I'm pretty sick of this, really.
you're not the only tired bitch out there.
don't make me wait by the phone for you.

i'm so miffed right now.

it is possible for me to stop going onto facebook, twitter, msn, ooVoo, and basically anything else that involves social interaction online? Do you think it'd be possible?

i'm turning into a paranoid little bitch again ):
AND I HAVE TO DO MY HOMEWORK.
I'm so upset right now, and i don't want to do last minute homework, ugh :S

Also, i cannot get caught up with myself falling head-over-heels for somebody.
Utterly insane, i will not let it happen.
I absolutely negatively mustn't.

On a much more awkward and absolutely maddening note; i watched the valentines' day episode of glee. I am now dreading this traumatically over-celebrated holiday with terrifying intrepidation. Somebody save me!

I used to love valentines' day, especially because i would buy little sweets, chocolates, or write letters for my close friends and celebrate this well-known un-official holiday as friendship day! (:

However, i'm currently 15 years old.
I know that that isn't suppose to mean anything to me, but somehow i feel different this year.
I'm turning 16 in april, and yes, i'm single.
Am i suppose to have a boyfriend, am i suppose to be dating somebody? Obviously, i shouldn't be. And i'm not.

I just have this annoyingly nagging feeling inside of me that keeps eating away at my insides.
It's constantly, and repetitively, sending nerve impulses to my brain, and into my thoughts, saying : you're single, you're single, and valentines' day is coming~

I mean, seriously brain?

Why was valentines' day even set up in the first place?
I believe that if you love someone, you shouldn't only show it to them on valentines' day because it is stipulated as the "day of love". That just sounds absolutely preposterous to me.
Shouldn't you show someone that you love them every single day of your life, rather than suddenly have an outburst on love, just because it is valentines' day?
Or, was it set up, especially to make all the single people feel miserable about themselves because they'd see their friends receiving chocolates, sweets, letters, invites for dates, and people making out, hugging, hand-holding, everywhere they'd go?
I sound like i'm only paranoid because i'm single. I seriously don't know.
Something has changed in me this year, i cannot look at valentines' day the way i used to anymore. Oh deary me...

Then again, i realised that maybe valentines' day isn't meant to make you feel miserable.
It is, in fact however, suppose to give people who are more shy, more introverted, less outspoken, and a little confused about how-to or when-to show love, and output, or reason to show the someone that they've been admiring from a distance what that special someone really means to them.

I guess it makes sense now...

The era of dreaming will soon be over, Nick Carraway, you absolute angel and genius for even coming up with that.

I shall dedicate this post to the person i love most right now(;
And anyway everybody,


HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Hello, i don't mean to brag, but i have happy things to tell the world!
(Well, actually i guess since i'm already typing this on my blog, i kind of do mean to brag...)

I PASSED MY AMATH TEST!
For all the people who've been in my amath class since sec3, i have only passed one pathetic amath test out of all my amath tests, and exams last year. Therefore, this is a great achievement to me.
NOT ONLY THAT, i passed amath with a 21/30, and not a "just pass". Hooray hooray!
Hardwork pays off! (:
I shall keep practicing amath until i reach a 27/30 or higher! ^^v

next...

I PASSED MY LIT TEST!
Whee!!! This is also extremely good news (:
I remember failing countless lit assignments and tests last year, but i got my recent essay test back, and i passed with a 16/25 ! (:
Analysing the lit text and memorising quotes pays off!
Studying hard pays off!

YAY!!
I'm in such a happy mood now (:

So, guess what!
This means that i won't feel guilty about going for Taylor Swift's concert, as i have already studied beforehand, and have obtained reasonable test results.
Hooray hooray! (:

Life's good (:
My attitude seems like it's right this year (:

SMILEY FACE!! :D

just to let you know: i love you very much.
But you'll never know this, because i'm never going to tell you this.
I know that you'll never love me back.
I'm actually okay with it.
I'm still gonna be a happy girl.
At least we're friends.

(:

"...ttyl sunflower~"
"see you tomorrow :) spinach~"
"cabbage!"
"TUNA FISH! HA OWNAGE! tuna eat cabbage :)"
"Hahaha.Shark! Shark eat tuna! ^^"
"Chinese man:) Chinese man eat sharksfin"
"Haha darn, what eats chinese man?"
"Okonkwo :) he chop them up and bring home their head as a symbol of his manliness"
"Hahaha what! Thats damn hilarious. White man eat okonkwo, they drove him to hang himself!"
"Then obama came along and fought for the rights of the Africans like okonkwo. And the Africans wrote another book 'Things fall apart...And they glued back. Sequel to chunia achebe's TFA' Haha the story of how the africans tortured the whites"
"And then the US got worked up because they found the soviet sending nuclear missiles to cuba"
"And hitler came back from the dead and started having tea with president SR Nathan and held an autograph session at suntec city"
"And then hitler exploded and he was like "ttyl sunflower!" and he became a sunflower!"

The end of my epic conversation with Chloe(:

All my friends who went to Malaysia for CNY are back (:
Jacq is now a happygirl (:
I shall be lonely no longer, hooray!!

Dear God,
please let fionna, cheryl, ruiting, mark and edward come back safely.
i miss them all.
love,
me.

It's 10 days to Valentines' Day.
And i'm proud to say that this year, i'm being extremely bitter about it.

Usually, i'd take Valentines' Day as Friendship day, and give all my good friends a small present to thank them for being my friend. But, i don't feel like doing that, not this year.

I want to quote Nicole Holmberg: Forever alone!
Hahaha, she's so cute, she wrote on twitter that she's going for a date with herself and giving herself a box of chocolates this year.

I guess that many people will immediately assume that it was some jerk's fault for making me bitter about Valentines' Day and love, but on the contrary, not exactly.

Remember Taylor Swift's all too famous song? Fifteen? :
'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
...
And then you're on your very first date and he's got a car
And you're feeling like flying
And you're momma's waiting up and you're thinking he's the one
And you're dancing 'round your room when the night ends

I'm technically still fifteen, and i don't know how, or why, but it's true, and it happened.
And actually, he wasn't a jerk.
(HOLEY SHYT I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M TYPING THIS ON MY BLOG.)
In other instances, and from many tumblr posts that i've read, people will always tell you that if you never meet a jerk, you'll never know how to appreciate a nice guy.
However, i don't really think he was a jerk in a sense, more like there were too many conflicting issues and quite a few misunderstandings.

Misunderstandings.
It seems like such a small harmless word, but yet, it is so very powerful, that it shakes the very ground that i walk on.
If it wasn't for these things, or problems called "misunderstandings", i think that i would still be close friends with quite a few people now.
It is really hard, in more than one sense of the word, to jump right back into being close friends, or best friends with someone, after a misunderstanding. The name calling has been done, the bitching has been done, the information has already spread like wildfire, and worst of all...the hurt, the hurt, has already been inflicted on the other party.
No amount of apologies, can ever erase the feeling of utter abandonment, betrayal, and hurt, that the other party has experienced.
Even though you may forgive the other person for wronging you in such a way, there always will seem to be this barrier between the two of you because of what has already occurred.

And that, that, is exactly what happened to me.

Which is exactly why i'm saying right now, that he wasn't a jerk, and by default, neither am i a bitch. It was just a tiny misunderstanding that got a little out of hand.
And this is with reference to friendship, mind you.
He was my best friend, and very frankly, i wish i could still think of him as such. However, a few months is a long time to sort out problems, or, misunderstandings, and nothing, in the end, can ever be the same again.

After digressing and rambling on for so long, this finally brings me back to my main point.
I'm quite bitter about Valentines' Day this year, and now, you know at least a partial amount of the reason why.

(There is a whole other side that led to this "bitterness" of mine. However, i absolutely will not reveal it on my blog. As it already is, i have proposterously already said far too much.)