I know he's going to read this :D

I told myself i wouldn't get on the computer today, but ho-hum, i'm sitting here infront of the screen checking on my facebook, twitter, and now i'm blogging.

My sorethroat, was terrible.

It's crazy!

Haha, JUDE IS SO KEWL.

Labels: church, yls

absolutely life-changing.

SJII mini-Concert in the glass hall, was....AMAZING! :>

Hahah, chinese mock was super epic today.
Lim Chan Tuan told us we had to finish the paper by 10;40am, then she went out of class to do something. And she put SHUN YU in charge. Super epic. Then i couldn't stop laughing and supposedly the whole class heard me laughing, aha :P

Mdm Goh then came in and told us that we had until 10:15am, so everyone panicked.
Then she told us that our paper was hard, and it was good if we got 30/70. She said she'd buy us chocolate if we got 40/70 and above :D
Then she paused for 5 seconds, and went, "Made in China".
HAHAHA WHATS (:

i miss you very much.
talk to me soon, please.

withlove,
Jacq
x

I successfully fixed my screwed up html blog.
Although it meant changing my blogskin :/
But hey, it's still pretty (:

And i've calmed down, no longer a miffy rabbit.
here's a picture of miffy rabbit by the way.

I think her mouth is shaped as an "x" because she's... miffed! Heehee :>
I like miffy rabbit (:

i post my last post, i re-read to check for grammatical/vocabulary errors. Then i stop and think.

It's been about an hour since my last angsty post, and i've calmed down significantly.
No longer angry at all.
And i was really thinking about it, and yes, Kimberly really is a good friend to me.
I shall overlook that tiny problem which my paranoiac self finds very big.
I'm glad i have a good friend like her. (:

Okay i just read my own title. WHUT...
Kay, no, it basically just means that i'm miffed.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MIFFED IS, GO READ THE DICTIONARY.

I'm using names this time? I don't know. I'm too angry, does it really make a difference if i censor off their names? RAWR. Okay nevermind. I doubt anyone ever gets through these long ranting blog posts of mine, haha.
So basically, I planned with Kim & Grace last week that we could go study together and then go for evening mass after orientation. But Grace said she couldn't study with me, and Kim had tuition. So i told Kim, that maybe i'll just go study myself that i'll meet her for mass later on, and she said, "Nvm, i think i can't." Something like that.
And then this morning she replies me about the Joanne Goh not getting formation camp form thing (i sent her the message at 12:32am) , i tell her that i haven't gone for confession and that i need to squeeze time out of my busy march holidays schedule to find time to go. AND YOU KNOW WHAT SHE SAYS? "Tell me if you need. I went ytd with grace and Tim since they went for mass too." WAIT. HANG ON A MINUTE. YOU CANCEL MASS WITH ME, BUT YOU END UP GOING WITH GRACE AND TIM?? GRACE AND TIM?????? EXCUSE ME? Grace is my really good friend too, and tim is my friend too, and why did you not think about asking me to go for mass with you, Kimberly? Why? Yeah okay fine, i sound so petty, and irrational, and paranoid. But seriously? It's not just mass, but confession too. I need to go for confession too. I originally wanted to go for mass with you, and you turn me down, but you still went in the end. AM I SOMEWHAT LOUSY AT BEING A FRIEND? i feel like a lousy friend. And i feel even lousier for typing this post and putting everyone's names down, but, i'm just sooo sooo soooooo angry right now! HMPH. I always think about all the nice things Kim does for me, like sticking with me when i need a friend, and always supporting me when i'm troubled and stuff. But then, these things happen, and i begin to question our friendship. How can i not?
I feel like i'm rejected as a friend by her because she doesn't really want to be around me or something. I mean, i totally agree that i'm quite a Bitch sometimes, and that i'm Annoying sometimes, or that i jump to Conclusions sometimes. And i'm just basically a very hard person to deal with. But, maybe because from the DISC test, i'm an "I" person, so i take rejections harder than others? I FEEL REJECTED RIGHT NOW. I FEEL SO VERY REJECTED, AND SO VERY ANGRY, AND SO VERY MUCH LIKE BREAKING OFF MY FRIENDSHIP WITH HER. But, no, i can't do that, because i'm thinking irrationally now, and it wouldn't make sense to do so. IM SO MIFFED THAT I SERIOUSLY AM JUMPING AROUND IN CIRCLES NOW.(Hence, the miffy rabbit title.) I could so easily pull my hair out. (Oh gosh, i actually really did that when i was small. I didn't know how to release my anger and would pluck my hair out when frustrated, that's why... oh, nevermind, i shan't say why.)
I'm so miffed right now. I need to breathe ):

I think, that, i shall go remember all the reasons why i'm still best friends with her now. I can't let one small paranoiac "problem" become the basis of breaking a friendship. It isn't right, not at all. I shall have to learn to be mature and calm down. :/

*kay, i used original texts intheend

seriously, i've never been happier about not going to church this week. Okay, this is the... somewhat less irrational, and more pleasant to read few lines before i start on a rant.
OKAY, i'm going to start now. HA.

We will ALL, be perfect to somebody.
don't ever think you're less that that.

(P!nk's songs are...reality ;) HAHA.

I watched P!nk's music video: F**kin' Perfect
I actually teared.
i think it's a good video about self-image.
Seriously, it's awesome (:

i still can't really grasp that Ms Sng's gone ):

Okay, this post isn't going to make much sense, and i'm going to sound like a little whiny kid, but i can't help it.

I asked my mom where my sister is...
"She's studying at Kimmy's house"
"KIMMY'S HOUSE? YOU LET HER STUDY AT KIMMY'S HOUSE???"
"Jacqueline, i don't know what that's suppose to mean. I don't like you tone."

And yes, now i'm here on my blog, about to rant out all my anger.

I ask my mom to let me study in church with Kimberly and Grace after YLs, and she goes "i don't like the idea of you studying in church". And if i ask if i can go study with my friends, she goes, "no. I don't want you to study with them". But when i ask where my sister is, "oh, she's studying at kimmy's house". WHAT IS THIS?

Is this unfair treatment just because it's my O levels year?
Or is it because she doesn't know Kimberly and Grace as well as she knows Kimmy? But she knows Kimberly and Grace well enough, she's seen them with me in church all the time!
Is it because she knows Kimmy's mom? And she doesn't know Kim/Grace's parents?? Is it because my sister and kimmy go to school together and i don't go to school together with Kim/Grace ?
WHAT IS THIS SHIT?
(yes, i'm about to launch into offensive swearing, close your eyes now, if you wish to pollute yourself no further.)

Outside, i'm doing this : Keeping quiet, typing away furiously and staring really hard at the keyboard so much that i'm sure that within the next few seconds, my eyes will burn a big hole in the middle of the screen

On the inside though: WHAT. THE. DUCKKKKKK IS THISSSSSSSS ? WHY ARE YOU SO FREAKING BIASED AGAINST ME? WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BITCH? WHY WON'T YOU LET ME STUDY WITH MY FRIENDS ??? BIATCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

But then again, i don't really want to cause anymore discourse in this house. There's already more than enough on a daily basis.
I'm just purely fed up. I'm going to go to Grace/ Kimberly's house to study next time when i can. There is NOTHING she can do about it. She's made it clear that my little sister is allowed to, i'm 2 years older than her, i should Definitely be allowed to. It's a given.

If i don't stop typing now, i'll end up insulting my little sister, who i actually love dearly, but now, when i'm not thinking straight, i'm pretty offended by thinking of the "freedom" she receives in comparison with mine.

So now, i shall stop. PERIOD.
I'm still angry, by the way.

hi world,

i'm so very disappointed in you.